I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
