just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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