O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
