Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I cut my penus on the lid.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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