he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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