Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I can't turn off my feet"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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