Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
