Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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