You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
