This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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