It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
