:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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