he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
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