Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
