He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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