My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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