She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
