Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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