So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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