it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
