I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
