I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
