i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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