Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
