from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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