i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
