something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
