Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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