Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
