One girl and one boy is just not enough.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
