Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
