ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
