My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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