fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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