Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You're like the curious george of whores
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
