Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
