omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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