The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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