I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
