I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
