how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
