id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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