I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Two words: blizzard sex
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
