He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
