She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
not ubering you a puppy
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
