Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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