So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i barfeds in our rink
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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