if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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