We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
