Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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