Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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