We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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