My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
