it hurts more in the daytime
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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