That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
