he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
