So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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