1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
