So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize