I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
