Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
